Cliche alert!

Yes, I make no apology, dealing with cancer requires a great memory bank. Why? Let me explain …

Having made it to Day 5 out of 30 treatments, I’m still not qualified to detail what happens next. I think I know, but there are so many trip hazards on the way that even for someone as carefree and ‘happy go lucky’ as me, it’s become painfully (I chose that word on purpose), obvious that no two journeys are the same.

Any form of injury, including such minor things as a shaving cut or bitten lip can soon turn into an infection and there begins the cycle of more discomfort and pain.

So far, I’ve managed to keep reasonably healthy apart from a slight infection around my peg. It’s red and inflamed but seems to be under control.

Each day starts with an energy level that may or may not be similar to the day before. Getting off the settee to make a cuppa was a planned task two days ago. It took a massive amount of effort and whilst I was standing up, I added a couple of other chores so I’d not have to stand again for a few hours.

Yesterday, I walked 2 miles, cooked a BBQ for guests and could have danced the Hokey Pokey around the Marina for a lap or two!

Every day seems to be different and my attitude is about making the most of the good times because I’m damned sure there’s going to be some tough days to come.

And so, to making memories…

I’m a huge fan of the Pay it Forward concept. If someone does you a good dead, then you repay that by doing a good dead for someone else. And so it goes on.

It’s particularly effective in places like coffee shops where you may pay for an extra coffee and if someone comes in without the means to pay for a coffee, there’s one already waiting for them. Paid for.

I believe the same concept helps when dealing with adversity. And so, it is vitally important to ‘bank’ the good times thereby giving you something to draw down on in less good times.

This works particularly well when going under the mask. I’m still not used to it and even yesterday we had to abort and start again. It really does require ‘mind over matter’ and no matter how chirpy I might feel when I arrive at the treatment table, it only takes a momentary lack of concentration to fill my head with anxious thoughts and the panic starts to well up immediately.

So. To counter this. I try to focus on a ‘happy place”. For some, that might be the beach or some other idyllic holiday. Mine vary but tend to be more about people than places.

And so, last week I exhausted myself with visits from my niece, my old school friend Brendan and a lovely lunch with my daughter Gabriella, her partner Marc and baby Zadie.

I was exhausted and felt quite despondent after my 9am treatment on Bank Holiday Monday because I could not see how I could drive to Marlow just 40 minutes away. I was too exhausted and didn’t feel safe driving. But, it was a golden opportunity to meet in a beautiful place and I was not going to miss out. FOMO is not good when you’re under that mask!

But, a quick call to my old mate Kev and I was sorted. Without hesitation he offered to pick me up and drive me there and I knew I’d be able to get my own way home.

And so, memories were made. Walks along the river, past a guy playing ‘Here Comes The Sun’ (my last song in my treatment playlist), had me almost at bursting point with emotion. Linking arm in arm whilst pushing the pram through a gorgeous park … is an indescribable memory to take back to the treatment table.

Smelling the spring blossom. Eating great food and savouring every morsel before it makes it’s damaging way down the progressively sore throat are all memories to put in the bank.

And so, if we do bump into each other, and I give you a bigger squeeze than normal (social distancing allowed), and insist on a photograph, then please forgive me. Normal service will resume shortly ha!